Drones Over Disney World

14 Jan

by Russ McSpadden / Earth First! News

[The text of this work is free to share and distribute under the following Creative Commons License CC-BY-ND 3.0]

Sleeper cells, domestic terrorists and the Seven Dwarfs had better beware: Florida’s Orange County Sherriff’s office is getting hyped to unleash unmanned drones over Orlando skies this summer.

Disney will now be more exciting once blood thirsty drones patrol the skies.

Disney will now be more exciting once blood thirsty drones patrol the skies.

Two drones, similar to those which fly over tribal regions of Central Asia to bomb suspected terrorists, unlucky wedding parties, children and even American citizens, are currently being tested.

However, according to Sheriff’s spokesman Jeff Williamson, Orlando’s drones will not be armed.  The office still needs approval from county officials and the FAA.

Drones are already being used all over the United States, have been recommended for use by wildlife officials to shoot “problem” wolves in the West and are a daily site along the U.S. Mexico border. The Miami-Dade Police Department is also considering their use.

Predator drones used by the military and CIA cost roughly $4 million a pop and are about the size of a two-seater Cessna. Orlando’s drones are a bit smaller and, according to Williams, cost roughly $25,000 apiece.

A map of the rugged Jungle Cruise terrain, home to a  bunch of scary but fake shit.

A map of Disney’s rugged Jungle Cruise terrain, a region known for lawless tribes sympathetic to Al Qaeda.

Williams did not comment in any depth as to exactly how the remote-controlled planes would be used but in an email he noted that they might be deployed to look for explosives, barricaded suspects and to inspect “hostile/inaccessible terrain,” which may refer to Orlando traffic, the regions dwindling swamps, or Disneyland’s sanitized version of a wild Jungle Cruise.

Will the Orange County Sheriff’s drones hunt down Dopey’s dope and Grumpy’s anti-American manifesto before its too late?

One Response to “Drones Over Disney World”

  1. Jon Awbrey January 14, 2013 at 3:05 pm #

    They’ll be selling ’em at gun shows before you know it —

    If they aren’t already …

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