Monsanto, the multinational agricultural biotechnology corporation responsible for Agent Orange and the production of genetically engineered seeds, is now in the coyote exterminating business, at least in and around one of its chemical plants in Luling, Louisiana.
According to a spokesperson for the world’s most evil GE mega-corporation, the wily coyotes that thrive along the east and west banks of St. Charles Parish are a nuisance.
“We have 1,100 acres of perfect land for them,” Warren Fremen, a member of the plant’s wildlife committee said. “We have no control over them at the plant. They breed at will and they have no natural predators.”
The Monsanto wildlife committee is now working hand in hand with St. Charles Parish Sheriff’s Office to remove the “problem” pups.
“Coyotes have gone unchecked for the past ten years,” Fremen said. “We’ve estimated there are probably 60 to 100 coyotes. So we are trying to get rid of them.”
According to Fremen six coyotes have been captured in the last two months.
St. Charles Parish Sheriff’s officers set out coyote traps that include motion sensors.
“You have a camera that detects any motion in the trap,” Fremen said. “So basically in the off hours or on the weekends if they catch a coyote an email gets sent to his cell phone. It’s all very high tech”
Be careful Monsanto, I hear Wile e coyotes are strapped to the teeth.