The Biocentric Kama Sutra: Oral Sex According to Indian Flying Foxes

4 Apr

by Russ McSpadden / Earth First! News

[The text of this work is free to share and distribute under the following Creative Commons License CC-BY-ND 3.0]

Indian flying fox (Pteropus giganteus)

Indian flying fox (Pteropus giganteus)

Outside of the village of Nallachampatti in southern India, a colony of Indian flying foxes roost in a fig tree, tasting of the delicate figs, lighting off over forests and swamps in the night to hunt mangoes, bananas and to sup on the nectar of flowers. They are sensual bats with a taste for the sweetness of life, which, as new research reveals, includes the flavors of sex, of vagina, especially in the morning.

In a study conducted over the course of a year, a team of scientists, wielding binoculars and a rather voyeuristic appetite, witnessed male bats perform oral sex on females over and over. The kinky Ph.D’s say these fruit eating bats do it to make the sex last longer, a hypothesis that seems to say Pteropus giganteus knows a little something about the artful ways of love.

“Apart from humans, bats also exhibit oral sex as a courtship behavior,” said Ganapathy Marimuthu, a bat researcher at Madurai Kamaraj University in India.

[Cue sultry mood music and Barry White voice-narration]

Atop the giant fig, male Indian flying foxes, one of the biggest species of bats in the world, groom their penises in the early dawn. Uh huh, you know, all slow at first. First using their wings and then their mouths, they bring themselves to full erection before approaching the females.

A handsome male reaches out with his wing to caress a sexy female. She moves, quivers slightly, drawing away and he follows her. When she stops moving, slyly opening herself to him, he bends down and begins licking her vagina. It’s bat cunnilingus baby. In the Kama Sutra there are several variations.

Flower+BluecrystaldudeAdhara-sphuritam (the quivering kiss)

“With delicate fingertips, pinch the arched lips of her house of love very slowly together, and kiss them as though you kissed her lower lip.”

Jihva-bhramanaka (the circling tongue)

“Now spread, indeed cleave asunder, that archway with your nose and let your tongue gently probe her yoni, with your nose, lips and chin slowly circling”

Jihva-mardita (the tongue massage)

“Let your tongue rest for a moment in the archway to the flower-bowed Lord’s temple before entering to worship vigorously, causing her seed to flow.”

Chushita (sucked)

“Fasten your lips to hers and take deep kisses from this lovely one, your beloved, nibbling at her and sucking hard at her clitoris.”

Uchchushita (sucked up)

“Cup and lift her buttocks, let your tongue-tip probe her navel, slither down to rotate skillfully in the archway of the love-god’s dwelling and lap her love-water.”

Kshobhaka (stirring)

“Stirring the root of her thighs, which her own hands are gripping and holding widely apart, your fluted tongue drinks at her sacred spring.”

Bahuchushita (sucked hard)

“Place your darling on a couch, set her feet to your shoulders, clasp her waist, suck hard and let your tongue stir her overflowing love-temple.”

Who Loves You Baby?

This foreplay helps arouse and lubricate females, the researchers said.

And as they penciled in their notebooks, each case of “worship at the sacred spring of love-nectar” typically lasted about 50 seconds, followed by 10 to 20 seconds of intercourse and then back to 94 to 188 seconds of clitoral lapping.

The scientists found that the longer the bouts of yoni kissing the more copulation was prolonged.

vagina-flower

And while Barry White could’ve told you that without spending a year hidden in tall grass watching bats get it on through binoculars, its still pretty damned amazing.

Of course, scientists have to explain the important evolutionary but sort of boring and mood-murdering theories behind cunnilingus, other than to have a good time, so end sultry music and sexy voice please, cue scientific nerdy voice…

“It is possible that prolonged copulation enables the mobility of sperm,” Marimuthu explained. “Such mobility of sperm increases the chances of conception.”

The researchers also speculate that the males might perform cunnilingus in order to clean off competitor’s sperm, ensuring their sperm, and not their rivals’, puts a bun in their lover’s oven.

But then why do these hot-blooded male bats sup from between their lover’s thighs even after copulation?

“In this context, cunnilingus would be maladaptive after mating, as there is a risk of removing the male’s own sperm,” the researchers wrote. “Observation at close range is needed to find out whether the male’s tongue enters the vagina or not.”

Oh I see, so these voyeurs will need another year of close observation to better understand the ways of divine sexuality, though perhaps, if I may be so bold as to suggest, they may want to try out some of these techniques at home with their lovers, you know, in the name of science.

Check out the slightly more detailed–and incredibly less erotic—scientific study in the March 28 PLOS ONE journal.

Zoomorphic bats can be artful lovers too!

Zoomorphic bats can be artful lovers too!

One Response to “The Biocentric Kama Sutra: Oral Sex According to Indian Flying Foxes”

  1. epilepsymeandneurology April 4, 2013 at 3:35 pm #

    ‘enables mobility of sperm’!! hell no, they just know how to have a good time! SCIENTISTS!

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