Oh Damn, Chuck Norris Fights Monsanto and GMO Crops

3 Jun
Better watch out Monsanto!

Better watch out Monsanto, the Golden Haired Dragon has his sights on you!

by Russ McSpadden / Earth First! News

Ok, weird but true: Say you wanted to know real, real bad what ole Chuck Norris, the black belt actor that once fought Bruce Lee, thinks about genetically modified foods. You can actually just ask him. That’s right, you canwrite to Chuck Norris with your questions about health and fitness.” Some guy named Tobias D. from California raised the question with Chuck thusly:

Chuck, did you hear about the 2 million people who marched around the world against genetically modified foods? And what’s the truth about genetically modified organisms, seeds and crops?

And I’ll be damned if Chuck (despite being a Republican hack from time to time) didn’t give it some thorough thought and a pretty darned decent response condemning GMOs, which you can read below.  But first, a few gratuitous Chuck Norris facts.

  • Fire escapes were invented to protect fire from Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square.
  • Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  • In his will, Chuck Norris has specified that if he dies, he will bury himself.
  • Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
  • Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris Responds

(from Creators.com) On Memorial Day weekend, 2 million people marched in protests against seed giant Monsanto for the purpose of bringing awareness to hazards from genetically modified food, which it and other companies manufacture. Organizer Tami Canal said protests were held in 436 cities in 52 countries.

Genetically modified plants are grown from genetically modified, or engineered, seeds, which are created to resist insecticides and herbicides so that crops can be grown to withstand a weed-killing pesticide or integrate a bacterial toxin that can ward off pests.

The Chicago Tribune reported that because genetically modified organisms are not listed on food or ingredient labels, few Americans realize they’re eating GMO foods every day. Genetically modified crops constitute 93 percent of soy, 86 percent of corn and 93 percent of canola seeds planted in the U.S. and are used in about 70 percent of American processed food.

The Tribune reported that the Food and Drug Administration has permitted the sale and planting of genetically modified foods for 15 years and that the Obama administration has approved an “unprecedented number of genetically modified crops,” such as ethanol corn, alfalfa and sugar beets. The Alliance for Natural Health USA added that the U.S. Department of Agriculture now wants to eliminate any regulatory controls from genetically altered corn and cotton.

And Monsanto, the world’s largest seed-maker and a publicly traded American multinational agricultural biotechnology corporation, is leading the pro-GMO march and moving full steam ahead in being the No. 1 U.S. and global farm supplier.

CEO Hugh Grant said this past week, “We’re in a growth mode, and with the combination of momentum in our core businesses and new layers of growth coming online from an increasingly global portfolio, we have the strategic drivers in place to continue our growth trajectory next year and beyond.”

But business columnist Al Lewis summarized the dilemma Monsanto faces in his column for Dow Jones Newswires: “For Monsanto, it comes down to saving the nine billion people expected to populate the planet by 2050. Monsanto is the company that allows farmers to grow more food with less land, water and energy. But it is also the company that brought us products we now know were far more dangerous than advertised, including the insecticide DDT, the toxic industrial chemicals known as PCBs, and the Vietnam-Era defoliant Agent Orange, which poisoned our own soldiers with dioxins. Monsanto also brought us saccharine – sweet, yet artificial, and known to cause cancer in laboratory rats.”

The Alliance for Natural Health USA cited the late George Wald, a Nobel laureate in physiology or medicine and one of the first scientists to speak out about the dangers of genetically engineered foods: “Recombinant DNA technology (genetic engineering) faces our society with problems unprecedented, not only in the history of science, but of life on the Earth. … Now whole new proteins will be transposed overnight into wholly new associations, with consequences no one can foretell, either for the host organism or their neighbors. … For going ahead in this direction may not only be unwise but dangerous. Potentially, it could breed new animal and plant diseases, new sources of cancer, novel epidemics.”

So instead of eradicating the need for insecticides and herbicides, genetically modified plants eventually could warrant stronger and more intense pesticides in order to outwit and overcome superbugs and greater strains of diseases. And who’s to say what GMOs will do – now or in generations – inside our bodies as we consume them on a greater scale and they become a part of the bacteria in our digestive tracts?

Equally alarming is a study that was just published in the journal Neurology. According to Medical Daily, a review of 104 studies conducted around the world revealed that exposure to pesticides, insecticides, weedkillers, fungicides, solvents, etc., increased the risk of developing Parkinson’s disease by 30 to 80 percent.

Dr. Emanuele Cereda – author of the study, by researchers from the IRCCS University Hospital San Matteo Foundation in Pavia, Italy – told the British newspaper Daily Mail: “We didn’t study whether the type of exposure, such as whether the compound was inhaled or absorbed through the skin and the method of application, such as spraying or mixing, affected Parkinson’s risk. However, our study suggests that the risk increases in a dose response manner as the length of exposure to these chemicals increases.”

According to The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research, “Parkinson’s disease is a chronic, degenerative neurological disorder that affects one in 100 people over age 60. While the average age at onset is 60, people have been diagnosed as young as 18. … Estimates of the number of people living with the disease therefore vary, but recent research indicates that at least one million people in the United States, and more than five million worldwide, have Parkinson’s disease.”

Next week, I will separate the truths and myths of GMOs as told by marketers and health professionals and then tell you exact steps that you and your loved ones can take to avoid GMOs in your local groceries and beyond.

Write to Chuck Norris (info@creators.com) with your questions about health and fitness. Follow Chuck Norris through his official social media sites, on Twitter @chucknorris and Facebook’s “Official Chuck Norris Page.” He blogs at http://chucknorrisnews.blogspot.com. To find out more about Chuck Norris and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at http://www.creators.com.

13 Responses to “Oh Damn, Chuck Norris Fights Monsanto and GMO Crops”

  1. Beth O'Brien June 3, 2013 at 1:05 pm #

    saccharin has been around for over a hundred years so how did Monsanto create it?

    • Earth First! Journal Sonoran Office June 3, 2013 at 1:17 pm #

      I’m not sure if you are taking Chuck Norris to task over his complex understanding of the history of saccharin or the ability of saccharin and Monsanto to exist in multiple layers of changeable time outside of current scientific understanding, but these seem like very dangerous questions Beth O’Brien. But seriously, despite popular belief, Chuck Norris doesn’t write for the Earth First! Journal. In fact, I think his role in the film Delta Force alone would insure that he’d never meet our anti-oppression policy and would never get into our editors collective. Same goes for his friends Mike Huckabee and the people over at the NRA, but shit, it sure is funny to see him go off on Monsanto.

  2. Beth O'Brien June 3, 2013 at 1:08 pm #

    sorry, one more thing: one rat had to eat a cup a day to get cancer in the urinary tract which is very short so i find it much less harmful and more tested than any of the new artificial sweeteners

    • Earth First! Journal Sonoran Office June 3, 2013 at 1:19 pm #

      I think I see through your pro-saccharin agenda Beth. Also, why did you feed one rat an entire cup of saccharin? Seems excessive. Down with Big Saccharin, Up with Spring!

      • Leslie Jamison June 3, 2013 at 2:57 pm #

        In Defense of Saccharin(e)

        Saccharine is our sweetest word for fear: the fear of too much sentiment, too much taste. When we hear saccharin, we think of cancer: too many cells bubbling forth into the body. When we hear saccharine, we think of language that has shamed us, netted our hearts in trite articulations: words repeated too many times for cheap effect, recycled ad nauseam. Ad nauseam: We are glutted with sweet to the point of sickness.

        Some Ideas About the Thing:
        1. I have an entire trashcan in my kitchen full of empty artificial sweetener packets.
        2. I used to like Sweet’N Low, but now I use Equal.
        3. The trashcan is small.
        4. It’s not that small.
        5. I keep it next to the stove, out of sight from visitors.
        6. If “sentimentality” is the word people use to insult emotion—in its simplified, degraded, and indulgent forms—then “saccharine” is the word they use to insult sentimentality.
        7. Scientists fed their lab rats loads of saccharin before they started getting bladder tumors. They were taking the human equivalent of hundreds of sodas per day. Hundreds!
        8. My roommate took a photograph of me the night before a physics final during my sophomore year of college. In this photo, I am lying on my bed. She has piled empty cans and bottles all over my body to show how much soda I’d consumed that day.
        9. You can only see my face and hands. Everything else is covered.

        The Thing Itself:
        is just a powder, so light that a little bit dusts my counter each time I rip open another packet.

        When I was young, I lived in a house whose walls were windows. During the long days of summer, I sat on our deck and watched jaybirds fly into the glass, knock themselves out, drop stone-like to the redwood planks below. Mostly they were trying to get inside but sometimes—and this was the worst, the most painful to watch—they had gotten trapped and were trying to get out again. I told my mother that the birds mistook our windows for the surface of the sky and she took my hand, showed me a bush growing near our front door, and said the birds got drunk on its berries, which were orange like rust stains and full of sugar. She said the birds couldn’t stop eating them. That’s why they kept on crashing.
        I didn’t know about fermentation back then but I did know about sweetness, its shameful thrall. I knew things about those birds, even as a child: The glass sky was flatter than they imagined, and through it they could see a world it wouldn’t let them reach.

        [I’ve been sweetening things for my entire life. Somewhere along the way, I simply learned to loathe my need to sweeten them.]

      • Beth O'Brien June 3, 2013 at 8:47 pm #

        you certainly can write! I don’t use saccharine; I just think it is the safest of the artificials. I thought your characterization of it was a little off

      • Earth First! Journal Sonoran Office June 3, 2013 at 2:59 pm #


      • Earth First! Journal Cascadia Office June 3, 2013 at 3:30 pm #

        see through this, Chuck Norris apologist!

  3. Alan O'Reilly June 3, 2013 at 1:26 pm #

    Thanks, Chuck. The big business juggernaut is fulfilling 1 Timothy 6:10. “For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” Their sorrows will come in part I think with all the eventual lawsuits and then from the growth of tentacles from beneath the chin and from under the taint.

  4. Ywh Vs. Monsanto June 3, 2013 at 1:28 pm #

    For most people, the main force behind their personal mission to eat mostly GMO-free foods is their health. I get that. It’s certainly one of the reasons I try to serve my family produce and meat we grow ourselves or have purchased from a reliable source that is GMO-free. So yes, health is a good reason. But it’s not my primary concern.

    Food may seem like a small thing in light of eternity… it’s an earthly need we all have and there is certainly more to life, but consider how many scriptures or stories in the Bible are centered around food. Certainly a complete list would exceed your patience if I were to post it here on my blog!

    Given the vast number of Biblical references, including the food that is to come in the heavenly kindgom at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb (Rev. 19:9), we can not ignore the fact that it has been God’s good pleasure to make food an eternal part of our lives.

    Suffice it to say… food is no small matter.

    Knowing this should cause us to pause and consider what we’re doing to our food supply when we allow companies such as Monsanto* to genetically modify it in such a way as to violate God’s ordained order of nature. I think most people who have not looked into GMOs think it’s just another form of hybridization. Not so.

    In short, hybrids follow the admonition of Genesis 1:11-12, GMOs do NOT.

    “Then God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees on the earth bearing fruit after their kind with seed in them”; and it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed after their kind, and trees bearing fruit with seed in them, after their kind; and God saw that it was good.” ~ Genesis 1:11-12

    Then He stated the same for animals…

    “Then God said, “let the earth bring forth living creatures after their kind: cattle and creeping things and beasts of the earth after their kind”; and it was so. God made the beasts of the earth after their kind, and the cattle after their kind, and everything that creeps on the ground after its kind; and God saw that it was good.” ~ Genesis 1:24-25

    Did you catch that? It was GOOD! Do we really think we can improve on that? In His sovereign design, He made everything perfect in the Garden of Eden. Only after the sin of man did it become defiled and I do not recall anywhere in scripture where He revoked this. Dare I say we defile it when we tamper with His ordained order?

    I am NOT saying God does not allow us to discover, create, and invent. But even these things should be within His natural order. When we step outside of God’s ordained design, we essentially build a “tower of Babel” and shake our fist in His face, saying “I can do better; I can be like God”.

    Oops… where have we heard that before?

  5. Jesus Ain't GMO June 3, 2013 at 1:30 pm #

    Jesus also said, “and there shall be famines and troubles:” (Mark 13:8 ) and it can happen anytime now, because foods supply is already controlled by the governments through subsidies, and governments are controlled by international foods corporations and biotech companies such as Monsanto. If they refuse to provide the genetic engineered seeds, there will be no foods. This has been their plans for decades as well.

  6. Earth First! Journal Sonoran Office June 3, 2013 at 6:02 pm #

    Looks like Chuck Norris brings the good Lord wherever he goes.


  1. Jesus looks like Chuck Norris | Isnotbad - June 6, 2013

    […] Oh Damn, Chuck Norris Fights Monsanto and GMO Crops […]

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